3.8 Alex- What is and What Might Be

Author's Note: This is the second half of Alex's story. These are the events that occurred due to the changes that Jennifer made in the past wiping out the previous time line. The ending is yet in flux but is the conclusion if Jennifer does not stop going into past.

The scene before them changed became clearer as the images aligned with the current time line. They watched as Alex told his sisters goodbye before he left for his first tour. Watching as his rock band performed before packed venues and excited fans.

"That was an awesome show guys," Alex shouted in order to be heard above the screams of the fans outside their dressing room door.

"It doesn't get any better than this," Zac laughed excitement lighting up his eyes as he punched Rons' shoulder.

"Cool it dude," Ron complained rubbing his arm "I'm the best drummer there is so don't go damaging the merchandise." He winked at Ali who was staring at him from behind Alex.

Lexi stood by observing the exchange. Leaning over she whispered in Ron's ear "she's taken. Find another bird to hit on."

Smirking up at her "are you offering?"

"Yuck no," Lexi scrunched her nose in disgust at him.

"You don't know what you're missing," he said pulling her close and kissing her roughly on the mouth.

Struggling to get free she slapped him hard across the face "I'm missing whatever disease you have. No thank you!"

Ron simply laughed enjoying her discomfiture as she wiped her mouth off on the back of her hand before storming from the room. "Come on Ron leave her alone," Alex entreated him.

"I was just having a little fun," shrugging "it's not my fault she can't take a joke." Getting up he walked past Alex stopping briefly beside Ali grabbing her butt cheek as he walked out the door.

Ali gasped in shock when she felt his hand on her backside. She knew she should slap his hand away but she also enjoyed it. Ron was...exciting in his irreverent attitude and bad boy image. He was a challenge,one she wanted to tame. Looking up she found Alex looking at her a questioning look on his handsome features. Sighing why couldn't Alex be more exciting?

Putting an arm around her Alex asked "are you ready to go babe?"

Nodding she moved with him towards the door as Ron came back with a couple of girls on each arm. She bumped into Alex as she turned too distracted by the giggling spectacle to notice where she was going.

"Is something wrong?" Alex asked looking down at her.

Shaking her head she smiled up at him. Why couldn't she get Ron out of her mind? She had a great guy right here. Someone who loved her. Cared about her. So why did she feel that something was missing? She wrapped her hands around his arm as they walked leaning her head on his shoulder.

Walking into their room Alex sighed with relief. "Alone at last," he smiled at her amazed that this beautiful creature was his. "I love you," he said leaning down to kiss her. She moved her head to the side "what's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm tired" she looked away as she spoke shying away from looking into his eyes. "I just want to be alone."

Trying to hide his growing disappointment Alex nodded his acceptance of another night of sleeping alone on the pull out couch of their suite. "Another headache?" he asked mustering what concern he could to what was becoming a nightly annoyance. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I just need some peace and quiet," reaching up she ran her hands across his face "I'm sorry."

Kissing her forehead "it's alright. Your health is important."

"Thank you," she mumbled moving towards the door to the bedroom. When the door was closing behind her Alex put his hand out "Ali if your headaches don't improve maybe you should see a doctor..."

Frowning she shook her head "it's just the noise...."

"Ali it's not normal to have headaches all the time..."

An exaggerated sigh escaped her as she rolled her eyes "I don't need to see a doctor. It's just a headache. Which isn't getting any better with you arguing with me." She pushed the door closed in his face.

Slamming his fist into the door Alex shouted "what aren't you telling me? I know you're just using these headaches as an excuse to avoid me. Sooner or later you're going to have to talk to me." Leaning his head on the door he sighed loudly before walking to the chair an throwing himself into it staring blankly ahead of him.

After a few minutes, growing restless Alex stood up pacing the room. Grabbing the room key he had tossed on the desk he left the room. Before he realized where he was going he found himself in the hotel bar being waved over to a booth. Smiling as he sat down "fancy meeting you here," he said.

***

"Aren't you going to ask me what a girl like me is doing in a place like this?" Lexi asked with a straight face.

Raising an eyebrow Alex laughed. He liked Lexi's carefree take no prisoner's attitude, even if her harsh exterior took a bit to get used to. "Come to think of it what is a posh hotel letting in tatted rock stars into their establishment?"

"That's what I like about you Alex. You never judge a book by it's cover." She lightly touched his hand. She sensed something was wrong as Alex seldom went anywhere without Ali. Lifting her eyes to meet his "trouble in paradise?"

Pulling his hand back as the waiter delivered his drink he nodded before he caught himself. A troubled look marred his gentle brown eyes. His building frustration and confusion over Ali's reaction to him pouring his heart out to Lexi, something he would normally never do. "I just don't know what to do. What did I do wrong? Am I not giving her enough attention?"

"I don't ... know Alex. I'm sorry," Lexi said reaching for his hand "maybe in time she'll tell you what's wrong. Give her a chance it might just be the long hectic days..."

Smiling gratefully at her Alex said "you might be right. I'm  probably overreacting. Just forget I told you any of this...."

A man who had been sitting at the bar wandered over to them. "Lexi," he said grabbing her arm pulling her from the booth. "I finally caught up to you."

"Kurt what are you doing here?" she asked jerking free from his grasp.

"Looking for you," he said with a slight slur.

"You're drunk," she said with a disgust.

"Just a couple of drinks that's all baby," his tone turned whiny "give me another chance. I'll prove I've changed." He wrapped his arms around her like an octopus would it's prey.

Smacking at  his hands "no Kurt please. It's over. It was over the minute I saw you kissing n your secretary."

"That was a mistake," he tried to kiss her cheek until she pushed him away "I said I was sorry. What more do you want?"

"I want you to go away," she stood before him hands on hips.

"Alex stood up behind Kurt putting a hand on his shoulder,"I think it's time you left."

Whirling around Kurt lashed out connecting with Alex's nose. Alex fell backwards losing his balance and landing hard on the floor. Kurt stared wide-eyed at what he had done before turning and running from the bar. Kneeling beside Alex laughing softly Lexi held out a napkin "your nose is bleeding."

"Thanks," he said reaching for the napkin. Holding it to his nose he asked "who was that guy?"

Shrugging "that was Kurt," sighing "my ex-fiance."

"You're joking," Alex said looking at her in disbelief.

"He wasn't always like that," she said giving Alex a hand up. "He used to be sweet. Always buying me things and sending me flowers." Shrugging "I felt like a princess until I caught him with his secretary. It hurt like hell but I got over it." Smiling at him "I joined a great rock band. Now I pour my heart and soul out in my music."

"I bet you looked a lot different back then," Alex said twisting a strand of her hair between his fingers.

"Maybe one day I'll show you a picture,"she offered walking toward the door.

Walking with her Alex held the door open for her. Shaking his head "you're not as tough as pretend to be," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh I'm plenty tough," she corrected "the outside matches the inside now. Who I was when I was with Kurt was the facade. Back then I didn't have the courage to be myself and go for what I wanted. Now I do." She stopped outside her room door "thank you Alex. You really didn't have to walk me to my room."

"My dad taught me to be a gentleman. I had to make sure you weren't accosted by your ex again." He fell silent looking into her purple eyes an felt something he hadn't felt in a while, acceptance, interest and attraction.

Moving close Lexi kissed his cheek "thank you Alex," she said with a smile before unlocking her door and going inside her room.

***

Standing outside her door Alex was shocked by the kiss that still tingled on his skin. He lifted his hand to knock on the door. Then the thought of Ali back in his room caused him to let his hand drop to his side. He couldn't betray her trust. They had been through to much together since high school. Whatever the issues between them he was sure they'd weather them together.

Walking back to his hotel room he knocked softly on Ali's door. Receiving no response he sighed before making up the bed on the couch. How were they going to fix anything in their relationship when he couldn't even get her talk to him? He couldn't even remember the last time they had made love or even talked without it ending in an argument. He wasn't blind to the looks that passed between her and Ron when they thought he wasn't watching. When had had asked her about it she had accused him of being jealous. Maybe he was. She looked at Ron the way she used to look at him I  The way Lexi had looked at him tonight. He pressed his fingers on his cheek where her lips had touched his skin. 

Waking with a jerk as Ali stumbled into the room. Reaching for the light he asked "Ali what's wrong?" 

"Nothing go back to bed," she told him. Throwing his blankets aside Alex stood up blocking her way to the bedroom. "Where have you been?"

"Out," she glared at him.

"Out where?" he asked despite the overwhelming evidence he could smell on her. Turning on another light he looked at her disheveled appearance. "You were with Ron weren't you?" He could feel his heart turning to ice as he stared at her.

"No," she denied "Why are you so jealous of him? I thought you were best friends," she muttered turning away.

"I thought so too," Sighing Alex didn't want to face the truth. His two oldest friends were having an affair. He could smell Ron's cologne hanging heavily on Ali's clothes. Switching the light off he crawled into bed. "Goodnight Ali," he felt her sit on the edge of the bed. Run her fingers through his hair. Silently she leaned forward drenching him in Ron's scent as she kissed his forehead before getting up whispering "I'm sorry."

After he heard the bedroom door close behind her he got up. Throwing his clothes on and left the room. He couldn't stay in that room knowing she had been with him. Ron was supposed to be his best friend. How could Ron and Ali do this to him? He found himself banging furiously on Ron's door.

***

Ron threw the door open a smirk upon his face showed he expected Alex "I see Ali made it back to the room ok."

Without thinking Alex swung at him. Anticipating his move Ron ducked. Laughing "I see why you've kept her all to yourself. She really is premium goods." He ducked again as Alex swung blindly at him. "You're going to hurt yourself if you keep this up boy."

Growling deep in his throat Alex glared at Ron's laughing face. He itched to pummel his fists into it, breathing deeply he asked "how long?"

"Oh I don't know," Ron said enjoying the moment. He wanted to savor watching his former friend suffer. "Probably as  long as you've been sleeping on the couch."

A wordless cry escaped as Alex charged at Ron. Infuriated at Ron's cocky smile. Laughing Ron punched him in the stomach. Falling his knees, gasping for air Alex felt Ron pull him to his feet. "This was fun and all but I do need to get my beauty sleep." Ron pushed him from the room, slamming the door in his face.

Holding his stomach Alex walked unsteadily down the hall. Passing Lexi's door he stopped as he heard the lock turn and Lexi came out. "Alex?" she asked "are you alright?" She grabbed his arm as he swayed on his feet.

"I'm sorry," he muttered as he let her guide him into her room.

"Nonsense," she looked at him in concern. "What happened with the Don Juan?" She chuckled at his astonishment "I share a common wall with the jerk. I hear things."

As he had done earlier he let all his hurt and bafflement out on her shoulder. She let him cry on her shoulder until he fell asleep. Gently she laid him flat on her bed tugging a blanket up and around him. Pausing she ran her fingers through his hair. How could Ali be so stupid? Didn't she realize that Alex was a hundred times better than Ron? That louse! That womanizing no good walking disease.

Shaking her head she moved to the chair and sat down thinking about her impulsive kiss she had given Alex. A smile tugged at her lips. Maybe she had a shot after all. She'd take Alex over her ex any day.

***

Waking late that morning Alex looked around the unfamiliar room. Sniffing the air he smiled as the scent of fresh brewed coffee greeted his senses. "What time is it?" he asked no one in particular.

"Almost 10:30," came the reply.

Blinking Alex looked at Lexi who was pouring a cup of coffee asking "sugar, cream?"

"Black," he said feeling a headache coming on and hoping the undiluted caffeine would help ward it off "Do you have any aspirins?"

Shaking her head she offered "Tylenol?"

"That'll do," he said taking the coffee from her. ""Mmm this is good," he said appreciating the taste and aroma of the coffee. "This isn't the standard hotel brew," he said with a smile.

"My own brew," she handed him the Tylenol "never leave home without it." She sat down watching Alex for a moment "how do you feel?"

"Sore and hungry," he said sniffing the air. 

Smiling "I took a chance  you might want breakfast I ordered room service. How does bacon, eggs and pancakes sound?"

"Wonderful," he said sitting up and putting the coffee cup on the side of the table "I must have been out of it last night."

"Well you were pretty upset," she agreed handing him a plate "want to talk about it?"

"Not really but I think Ron will be calling a band meeting," Alex said taking a bite of pancakes.

"He's already called one," she looked away then back at Alex meeting his eyes "he wants you out."

"Figured he might," he munched on some bacon "I gave him enough reason to last night. I tried to hit him but he's as quick as he is slimy." Giving her a rueful glance "I'm not much of a fighter. I missed every punch I threw at him." Rubbing his sore stomach "Ron on the other hand had no trouble hitting his mark."

"So he hit you?" she asked relieved.

"Only after I swung at him," Alex added "I was just so mad I couldn't think straight."

"You had every reason to be upset," Lexi told him.

"Maybe but I made a bad situation worse," he sighed "thank you," he said getting up. "I really don't look forward to getting my things from my room."

"Don't worry about it," Lexi told him pointing to a pile in the corner "I went and collected your things things this morning. I didn't think you'd want to face Ali this morning at least not right away."

"Lexi tell me again how your ex was stupid enough to let you get away," he said sifting through his things "mind if I take a shower?"

Shaking her head "help yourself."

Coming out of the shower Alex asked "when is the meeting?"

Checking the time "now" she said "Ron wanted it before lunch." Looking at Alex "don't worry Zac and I won't let Ron kick you out of the group. Ron needs a majority vote. All he has for sure is his and Ali's." At his pained expression she immediately apologized.

"We best not keep Ron waiting," Alex said getting up moving towards the door.

"Wonder what he'd do if no one showed up?"

"Cry mutiny," Alex said waggling an eyebrow at her "where is this meeting being held?"

Looking sideways at him she said "in Ali's room."

Using his room key they walked in noting that Ron had made himself at home. Frowning Alex tossed his key towards him "I won't be needing that."

"Alex" he heard Ali entreat him.

"Not now Ali," he moved away refusing to make eye contact with her or anyone else in the room. The last one to arrive was Zac.

Looking pointedly at the time Ron said "I told everyone the meeting was at 11:30." Zac rolled his eyes "I don't have all day to waste. Once this is done we have to line up a new lead singer....."

"Whoa there tyrant," Zac said holding up his hands "I agreed to this charade but on one's kicking Alex from than band. If he goes I go." Crossing his arms he moved towards the door.

Lexi put a hand on Alex's shoulder "I stand with Alex..."

"Of course you do," Ali spat "you've wanted him ever since you joined the group."

"Careful girlie you're sounding a wee bit jealous." Lexi flashed her a huge grin "at least I had the decency to wait until he was available." Looking around the room she asked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes "you are done with him right? That is why Ron's stuff is in here..."

Zac smothered a giggle as Ron and Lexi glared at each other. "The rooming arrangements are not in question here. Alex violated the no fighting among band members code. That's an automatic expulsion from the group." Ron said stabbing the air with his finger.

"What about the code among friends of not sleeping with their girlfriends?" Lexi asked.

"Lexi that's enough," Alex said from behind her "let's not get into a name calling slinging match. Ron's right I did swing first but as a I recall I missed every time." Looking straight at Ron "you landed your punch which means your just as guilty as I am. I don't see anyone here calling for your head." 

Standing Alex moved towards the door. "We all know what this is all about. You want Ali fine take her. She's all yours. I won't fight you. She's made her choice." Opening the door "I hope your happy."

"Wait," Ron called after him "we haven't voted yet."

Shrugging "then you weren't listening. Lexi and Zac both sided with me. That's 3 to 2 in my favor because I'm voting on staying. But if you and Ali want out that could be arranged."

***

An hour later Lexi joined him in her room. Leaning against the door "well how did it go?" Alex asked glancing up from the TV as he shut it off. 

"Ron screamed and hollered and Ali cried but we stood firm." Looking at Alex in concern "what about you? Will you be able to perform with those two?"

"We'll see won't we," Alex replied deep in thought "I'll have to imagine someone else when I sing some of our ballads since most of them were written with Ali in mind." Getting up he moved towards the door "I should go and let you get some rest before the show tonight."

Touching his hand she asked "where are you going?"

"Ron checked out of his room," Alex shrugged "I moved my stuff into his. The maids should be done sterilizing it by now."

"You didn't have to do that," Lexi protested.

Lightly touching her cheek "I know but I can't just switch my feelings off. Give me some time..."

"Alright," she conceded moving away from the door "I understand." She was more hurt than she thought she would be even though she expected his answer would be no. 

***

Laying in his bed dozing a soft knock disturbed the silence of the room. Half expecting, half hoping for it to be Lexi he opened the door only to find Ali standing in the hallway. "May I come in?" she asked looking nervously down the hall then up at him.

Moving aside Alex went and sat in the chair while Ali shut the door behind her. Fidgeting with her finger nails Ali looked imploringly towards Alex "I'm sorry," she said after a couple of minutes of silence.

Without looking at her he asked "why Ali? Just tell me why?"

Kneeling before him tears in her eyes "I'm pregnant."

Her announcement cut him to his core. Blinking back tears he felt Ali tilt his chin up forcing him to look at her "I'm sorry Alex. It wasn't supposed to happen. I love you but I made horrible mistake."

"You love me," Alex said his voice harsh and bitter "then how could you sleep with him? How could you do that to me?"

"I'm sorry," she cried "I was weak and he made me feel special, desirable..."

"and I didn't?" He jerked his face from her fingers looking away. Tears stung his eyes and spilled down his nose.

"No yes I don't know," she muttered confused "It just sort of happened. Then he wouldn't take no as answer." Picking up his hand she rubbed her face against his palm. "Please Alex I love you. I know I hurt you and I don't deserve your forgiveness but please don't be mad at me."

"Ali don't..." he took a deep steadying breath before continuing "you're pregnant. You and I both know it's not mine. What do you expect me to do?" In his irritation he looked down at her wondering why she was here and why he should care?

"Say you won't leave me. That you still love me," Crying on his knee "I need you."

Petting her head he let her cry "Ali no just no. You made your decision. You let Ron move into our room. You let him try and kick me out of the band. Your carrying his child..."

"He doesn't know about the baby...I could tell him it's yours. He won't know. He wouldn't even care. He's isn't the marrying kind. Please Alex help me." She held out her hands imploring him.

Grabbing her hands he silently shook his head "no Ali I can't I'm sorry. You hurt me. Betrayed me. Carrying another man's baby. That's not love Ali." Dropping her hands "It's time for you to go. Time for me to admit that you probably never loved me to begin with."

Getting slowly to her feet she stopped at the door "Alex won't you reconsider..."

"No Ali I won't. You have to live with your mistakes same as me. Go and tell Ron about the baby maybe that will knock some sense into him"

***

The months that followed were tabloid fodder. They couldn't go anywhere without someone following them. The wedding between Ron and Ali was greeted with sorrow from all involved and the tabloids were quick to speculate how soon divorce would become a reality. Ali quit the band preferring to stay at home with the twins when they were born. Which left Ron free to resume his old lifestyle. That was when Ali's frantic please for help began.

Sitting across the table from Lexi Alex smiled reaching from her hand "have I mentioned how lovely you look this evening?"

"I believe you have," Lexi giggled looking down before adding "I think you look rather dashing tonight Mr Bennett."

"I had to look extra special for my girl," he cocked an eyebrow at her eyes sparkling. It had been a long time since he felt this light, this carefree and happy. He was gad that Lexi had convinced him to give her chance. She just might be what he needed as he hadn't dated anyone since Ali dumped him for years ago. The thought of her brought a sour look to his handsome face. The constant phone calls and pleas for help were wearing thin. He couldn't do it anymore and he knew Lexi's patience was running out.

"What's the matter?" she asked noting how the light had gone out of his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Alex smiled "I was just thinking that your the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time."

"and that made you sad," she prompted knowing where this was leading. Where all their conversations led to....Ali and the kids.

Shaking his head "it doesn't matter..." he was cut off by the ringing of this phone. Glancing at Lexi he knew the night was ruined. Answering the call "Ali now is not a good time...How should I know where Ron is?...No I won't go his room. If you want him send someone from the hotel...Ali I'm busy...No I can't just drop everything because you can't control your kids...How many times do I have to tell you they're not my responsibility...Ali I'm sorry really I am but no I'm not coming." Disconnecting he looked at Lexi.

"Alex this has got to stop." she crossed her arms "you jump whenever she wants something."

"Not this time. You heard me I told her no," Alex said confused why she was so mad. He thought she would be happy that he was finally putting his foot down.

"Yes but for how long? The next frantic call? Tomorrow? Next week?" she got up and walked away.

Throwing money on the table to cover the bill and tip Alex ran after her. "Lexi what do you expect me to do? I've known Ali almost all my life. I can't just abandon her."

"Alex I can't do this anymore," she said turning and walking swiftly down the sidewalk.

Catching her arm "can't do what anymore?" Alex asked dreading the answer.

"I can't...I won't be second to Ali," she said yanking her arm free "you drop everything for her. When she calls crying you go running to her. Fix all her problems until the next crisis happens. I can't sit back an watch her do this to you. If you won't stop it I'm done."

"Lexi please I'm trying really I am but I feel so bad for those kids. They need someone.."

"They need their parents not you," Lexi cried wiping her eyes "until you figure that out your no good for me or yourself." Walking away "I'm sorry but this is where I draw the line."

Stopping in his tracks as his phone began to ring he was tempted to ignore it. "Hello." 

"Is this Alex Bennett?" an unfamiliar voice asked. 

"Yes it is. Can you hold on a minute?" He called after Lexi "Please will you wait I need to talk to you. I really want this to work between us."

Turning to face him she shook her head and continued on her way. Feeling lost and alone Alex turned back to the caller "can I help you?"

***

"Mr Bennett I'm Officer Crane of the Hidden Springs Police Department and I regret to inform you that your sister Drew Bennett was involved in an accident this evening...."

"is she alright?" he asked the man on the other side of the phone.

"I'm sorry sir she passed away from her injuries...."

He stopped listening to the voice as he fell to his knees. He wanted to scream, to cry but mostly he just wanted the pain to go away. First it was his mother leaving them. Then she came back only to kill his dad and the only mother he had. Then Ali betrayed him. Slept with his best friend. Now he lost Lexi when he needed her the most to help him through this maze of darkness and pain. His sweet baby sister dead at 18 years old. It was just too much. Too much pain. He couldn't bear it.

Feeling lethargic and heavy at heart he managed to make it back to his hotel room. Turning his phone off he lay staring up at the ceiling. Numb inside and out. What was the point of going on? Finding a pen and paper he wrote a few letters to his brother and sisters hoping they would understand before he swallowed the bottle of painkillers he had on hand. He lay down on the bed welcoming the end of his miserable existence. 

***

She made a wordless cry of protest. Glaring at the blue haired man "this is your fault."

"My fault how?" he asked her.

"If it weren't for you I wouldn't have to see the consequences of my actions. Why couldn't you just leave me in ignorance?"

"Do you think that ignorance is an excuse for the damage you have caused?" Chase asked by wondering, hoping he had finally gotten through to her.

"It helps," she said "but if I succeed in bringing my dad back the none of this will happen."

"That's the point Jennifer you can't prevent his death," Chase told her marveling at her single minded obsession. 

"No your wrong. You have to be wrong," she wrapped her arms around herself. "This won't happen. I'll prevent my dad from dying then all of this will change." she repeated this to herself as if repetition would make it so.

Chase was ready to call it quits after watching to young lives come an abrupt end. He hadn't known either one but he doubted he could take much more tragedy. Sighing he prepared the next scene for Jennifer promising himself that would only do this a few more times whether or not she changed. He personally couldn't do it much more of this.