Generation 2, Chapter 15

 

"Are you just going to stand there, staring at me all day?" Patricia asked as she stretched from her workout.

"Hmmm ... I'm enjoying the show," Robert said leaning back on the treadmill.

"You really should join me after all that running you did on the treadmill," Patricia suggested as he continued to watch her.

"I'll think about it. But I'd much rather stay right here."

"You'll regret it tomorrow when you're all stiff and sore."

With a lopsided grin Robert said "I know a really great girl who gives the best massages. So I'm thinking it's a win, win situation."

"You do, do ya?" she asked with a mischievous grin. "What if she refuses to massage your pore aching muscles?"

"Wouldn't happen," Robert said confidently. "This gal is much to sweet and kind hearted to watch me suffer."

"Robert you're really just too much," Patricia said laughing. Changing the subject she asked "How's your father?"

"He says he's ok but ..." he shrugged in frustration. "Wish he would just admit that he needs help. Casey thinks he's putting up a brave front and pretending everything's ok, when he's really falling apart on the inside."

"Casey's supposed to be starting college soon isn't he?"

"Yeah, he put it off until the second semester to stay home and help Beverly with the little ones until Dad came back."

"What about your mother? Surely she helped," Patricia asked astonished.

"My mother is a selfish cow," he responded without thinking.

"Robert that's a bit harsh. It must be difficult for her knowing that her husband can be taken at any moment, not knowing when or if he'll return."

"I suppose," Robert grudgingly agreed. "But she didn't have to go ballistic on everyone; especially on Gene. She just laid into him calling him every name she could think of, like it was his fault the aliens came and took Dad." Restlessly he moved away from the treadmill turning away from Patricia, the memories too vivid and hurtful. "You know what she said? That if it hadn't been for Gene beating me up that I would have been home for the aliens to take instead of Dad. That I should have been the one, that she could have handled that. She kept going on about how he's an evil little shit who schemed with the aliens to abduct Dad and break up their marriage. Told him it was his fault if Dad came back impregnated with another alien spawn. She had absolutely no empathy for Gene's feelings. She almost seemed to enjoy tearing him down."

"But that's, that's awful," Patricia stated at a loss for words. She moved closer to Robert, wrapping her arms around him, giving him what support she could.

He smiled faintly at her as he put his arms around her waist. "If it hadn't been for Casey volunteering to stay home, I would have dropped out of college." Someone had to stay home and keep things together until Dad came back. Mom was absolutely impossible, locking herself up in her bedroom when she wasn't taking her frustrations out on Gene. Gene was slowly drinking himself to death, having refused to go to rehab until Dad was home. He had tried to stop drinking on his own but he just couldn't do it. After hearing the things that their mother said to him, even Casey had begun to realize the damage her venomous words were having on him. No matter how they tried to shield Gene from her.  They couldn't be there all the time and he just wouldn't listen to them when they pointed out how Dad would want him to go and get help so that when he came back he would be better. It just fell on deaf ears. Without their father being there to deflect the worst of their mothers vicious tirades, Gene fell further and further into his drunken daze. She continued to steam roll over him until he was so deflated they all wondered if he'd ever find himself again.

"Oh God I'm so afraid I'm going to lose my brother and there's not a damn thing I can do to prevent it," he said out of despair as Patricia held him.

"Maybe now that your Dad is home he'll be able to talk sense into him," she suggested.

Shrugging Robert sighed "Yeah maybe but Dad isn't himself lately. It may just be too much."

"Surely after being abducted three times he's learned how to cope by now..."

"You just don't get it do you?" Robert said through gritted teeth. "No matter how many times it never gets easier. After experiencing it once I know the fear, the pain, the uncertainty, it's not something you can get over quickly if at all. I don't know how I'll react the next time the aliens take me. I just know that Dad is in a vulnerable place right now, where he feels his world is falling apart around him and he has everyone looking to him for guidance like he doesn't have enough to deal with. Casey says he's cooperating with the scientists that showed up again to study and interview him, just like last time. He seems to be alright, going to work, taking care of the kids but he's functioning on autopilot. He's not eating but Casey says he's gaining weight. Oh god that means, not again, this can't be happening." Robert stopped stunned with the realization he just had.

"What do you mean? What's happening again?" Patricia asked confused not comprehending why Robert looked so upset.

"He's pregnant. That explains the weight gain. It has to be that. The aliens did it again."

"Isn't he getting a little old?"

"Yeah," he shrugged "but that hasn't stopped my mom from having more. She's due in another couple of months."

Rolling her eyes she said "Your mom's not exactly sane is she?"

"That's the understatement of the year," Robert grumbled staring straight ahead of him wondering how his parents were going to manage two new babies.
 

"Hey it's going to be alright," Patricia said intruding upon his thoughts as she softly kissed his lips. "Sooner or later she'll have to stop, it's a fact of life."

Chuckling a little "It seems like once she turned forty she went over the edge and started popping out babies like there was no tomorrow."

"Mid life crisis maybe. She really should see a doctor."

"That's not likely to happen since she feels there's nothing wrong with her. It's the rest of us that need help."

"I really don't want to get old," Patricia stated.

Looking at her curiously he asked "I don't think you have a choice."

"I know but it seems like that all the older women in our lives, your mom my mom, all went bat shit crazy once they hit forty."

Smiling at her Robert couldn't resist saying "I'll have to keep that in mind and have a straight jacket available on your fortieth birthday."

"You sound pretty confident that we'll still be together twenty years from now."

"I certainly hope so."

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Later that evening Shon was attempting to study but his mind kept dwelling on the email he received. The second one in six months from the state prison. He stared at the page for several minutes before giving up the pretense. Closing the book he recalled the way his heart hammered in his chest after seeing the new email in his inbox. He debated with himself whether to open it or not, there was no doubt in his mind it was regarding his father, who was serving a 25 year sentence for attempted murder and aggravated assault.

Not once in the twelve years his father was in confinement had Shon visited him or had any contact with him. He refused to let that man into his life, not after the torment he lived through as a child. Stealing his nerves he clicked the email to open and instantly regretted it. If it had been from his father at least he would have known where he was, in prison where he belonged. Instead the email was from the parole board informing him that his father had been released for good behavior.

Good behavior? His father? Never! Shon's only memories of his childhood were filled with screaming and crying, never once had his father said a kind word to him or said he loved him. He shivered as he recalled the countless beatings he received during his father's drunken rages, while his father shouted at him that he deserved to be punished for ruining his life. Because of him, his father had to give up his dreams because of him he lost his jobs one after the other and finally he lost his wife all because of him, the son he never wanted, the son who should never have been born. Alone at night, huddled on the floor of the closet he was locked into every night, he would pray that he would die before he waked and be taken to heaven because he had done his time in hell. Shaking his head, he remembered how he had wished he had been like all the other kids, who only had to fear the imaginary monster under their bed, instead he had the worst monster of all, his dad.

Now that monster was out and wanting to locate him. According to the parole officer he wanted to make amends. Just how do you make amends for the terror he inflicted on a small child, defenseless to protect himself, who as an adult couldn't keep his heart from racing at the thought of seeing that person again. There were things that couldn't be undone or forgiven. He should never have opened that email he thought.

"Shon are you aright?" a low melodic voice asked him. He smiled at the sound, while shaking his head without looking at her. "Want to talk about it?"

"No," he said his voice harsher than he intended.  His eyes crept over to see her look down at her hands rebuffed. He felt like kicking himself for taking his bad mood out on her, when all she had done was offer to help. "I'm sorry Evie. I just received some disturbing news and it has me on edge. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

Her mouth quirked up as she took a seat "It's ok. The offer still stands. If you want to talk, I'm a pretty good listener."

Staring straight ahead, Shon leaned forward clasping his hands. He was tempted to unburden his heart and tell all his darkest secrets, but he knew he couldn't open that pit of terror he had locked up deep inside him. Looking at her he knew he never wanted to burden her with his past, it was better to keep her at a distance. She would never understand someone like him, they were from two different worlds. "You wouldn't understand," he mumbled more to himself than to her.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" she challenged leaning forward. "Do you think I haven't got a clue about your past? That I wouldn't understand the terror and fear you lived through as a child?"

"How could you? Our backgrounds are so different?" Shon asked stunned that she knew, as he had never told anyone, not even Sydney when they were dating.

Smiling sadly Evelyn told him "when we stayed with you and your grandmother, she spoke about you and what your father did. She knew then that I liked you, even before I realized it myself. She said 'Missie there's things you need to know about that grandson of mine. He's a good'un but he's too hard on himself.' She made me laugh and cry as she spoke but one thing was clear, she loved you."

"She shouldn't have told you," he exploded shifting to get up. Evelyn reached over and stalled his progress "she didn't mean any harm. She wanted someone to understand the scared little boy you were and the man you were becoming. She wanted the best for you and she made me promise to tell you how proud she was of you."

Stunned, Shon thought of his gramma and how much she had given up for him, to raise him, to give him a home where he was loved, he owed her so much because without her he wouldn't be where he was today. He was amazed that Evelyn, even though she knew his past, wasn't scared of him. "But what if I turn out to be just like my father?"

He asked the question that plagued his dreams, that caused him to decide that he couldn't chance ever getting married or having children. He never wanted to be the monster in a small child's eyes. He would rather die a lonely old man before becoming his father.

"You won't," she said confidently "just because your the child of abuse doesn't mean you'll automatically become an abuser too. You don't have to be. Just like I don't have to be like the aliens I come from. We can form our own destinies and be something better. You're grandmother knew it and was confident that you could rise above your past, you just have to believe it."

Smiling for the first time since he opened that email, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time he felt he had a future, the one he dreamed of. He looked at Evelyn silently thanking her for the gift she gave him of knowing someone was capable of understanding him. He felt free to chase his dream, now he knew he didn't have to hide his feelings anymore and he had his gramma to thank for her wisdom in knowing him better than he knew himself.