3.11 Jeff - What is and What Might Be

Every morning Jeff lined up for inspection. Listened to the Drill Sargent bark orders. The routine never varied. It was mind numbing.

"Is there a problem Cadet Bennett?" the Sargent barked in his face.

"No Sir."

"Why are you still standing here?"

"I didn't hear the order sir," Jeff replied back.

A stiff nod and tight lipped smile flashed across the Sargent's stern face as he turned to reprimand the ones stupid enough to disburse without the proper order. Jeff stood stiffly waiting for the order to run the course. Keeping his eyes front he tried not to see the envious glances that his fellow cadets shot at him. The disapproving grunts as they were raked over the coals for their error. So deep in thought he almost missed the order to disburse but not quite. He ran to the first obstacle. Staring up at the wall plotting out how best to climb it with the most efficiency.

Starting up he saw from the corner of his eye one of his fellow cadets struggling. Debating whether to assist or continue he almost missed  his hand hold. Breathing heavily he struggled to the next hand hold. What was the matter with him today? He could run this course blind folded but today his mind was distracted. Forcing his mind to go blank he couldn't afford any screw ups, not this close to graduation.

***

"Hey Bennett," a familiar voice called out to him .

Stopping he waited for Lisa to catch up to him. Leaning on the wall Jeff smirked "what's the matter Kimble? Losing your edge?"

Shaking her head "hell no I'm still top dog around here. You're getting there Bennett but there's no way you're going to edge me out."

"We'll see," Jeff said nonchalantly "we test out on the target range tomorrow. I'm the better marksman."

"I'll give you that,"she smiled up at him "I'm better at everything else." She walked past him secure in her belief that she had the upper hand and the last word.

Shrugging Jeff let her go. What difference did it make if he forced the issue or got in the last word? What mattered was being the one with the top marks. He could choose the field he wanted. What police department he wanted. He wanted the assignment at Bridgeport in forensics. Staring into the night sky sighing. He couldn't let anything distract him from that goal.

***

Waking early Jeff lay on his bunk concentrating on stilling his jack hammering heart beat. He had the dream again. The one he had every time he had to fire his gun. The one where he watched his parents die in front of him. A defenseless ten year old kid should never have to witness something like that.

Jumping from the top bunk Jeff padded to the communal bathroom. Splashing water on his face. He stared at his reflection. Why did he push himself so hard to become a cop? He hated the idea of having to use his gun. Hated even more the possibility of having to use his weapon on another human being. He felt the doubts niggling away at his self-confidence.

Dressing in a hurry he ran for the track. Hoping exercise would clear his mind. He didn't notice her until she spoke "Bennett where's the fire?"she called from behind him.

Breaking stride he slowed enough to let her catch up to him. "No fire,' he smirked "I just like to run fast."

"I like being in front," she gave him a sideways glance adding "but I can't say the view has improved any."

Pointing towards the ocean "that's breath taking. It could only improve without someone blocking it."

"That's not the view I was referring to," she told him as she increased her speed "you have a cute butt."

She said what? His mind asked stunned. Losing his stride he almost tripped. He had to have heard her wrong. She couldn't have said what he thought she did. Fraternization was frowned upon at the academy. Definitely not among officers who worked together. But....his mind wandered off as his eyes watched Lisa running in front of him. She was infinitely better looking then the scenery.

He caught up to her as she decreased her speed allowing him to come along side her. "Well?" she asked.

"The sunrise is glorious this morning," he said with a smile racing ahead.

"That's not what I meant," she yelled after him.

"I know," he called back "see you at the gun range." He had just enough time to shower before he was required to report to the range. Sliding into place as the Sargent was calling them to order. 

Avoiding eye contact with Lisa who was standing across from him. Her nearness was suddenly unsettling and he found it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes front when he wanted to see of she was looking at him.

***

"Cadet Bennett your up first," Drill Sargent announced "show these rookies how it's done."

Breathing deeply he drew his gun from it's holster. Pushing aside his dread of firing it. Hoping the sound wouldn't vibrate to his soul and effect his dreams. Firing at the first target. A masked man with a gun. It was all rapid fire decisions. Recognize the bad guy. The danger. Make a mistake and someone dies.

Wiping sweat from his frown he received his results. Record time and a perfect score. He could do this course in his sleep and did most nights in his dreams. All of the nightmare the victims all had faces of his brother and sisters. One mistake and they were dead. He couldn't live with that on his conscious.

"How'd you do?" a voice asked beside him. Handing her his results she groaned. "I take too long to decipher the victim from the bad guy." She looked up at him "how do you do it?"

Shrugging he felt heat rush to his cheeks "I just do."

"Afraid of giving away trade secrets?" she asked "come on Jeff help a girl out."

"I don't' know," he gave her a sheepish grin "there's a look in the victims eyes that the bad guys don't' have. It's more of a feeling..."

Blinking at him she shook her head "your pulling my leg. You don't get that kind of scores on a feeling."

"It's true," he insisted unsure why he felt the need to defend himself. "It's a look I've seen over and over in my head for years. It's the look my parents ...."

"Your parents? What do they have to do with it?" she asked intrigued.

"They have everything to do with it," Jeff moved away from her seeking to put space between him and his memories. Looking down when he felt her hand on his arm.

"Jeff? What's wrong?" she asked in concern "did I say something?"

"It's not you," he said softly staring out to sea "I...I can't talk about it here. Not while guns are firing in the background."

"Alright," she looked over her shoulder dropping her hand to her side "let's meet at the track. I could go for a run."

They turned back towards the gun range coming face to face with the disapproving face of their drill Sargent. "Cadet Kimble my office 18:00 hours. Cadet Bennett may office 19:00 hours."

"Yes sir," they said in unison acknowledging the summons. The snickering and cold looks of the cadets were not lost on them either.

There wasn't time to meet up for a run before Lisa was due in the Sargent's office. They moved apart from each other both fearing that this summons was due to what could be perceived as fraternization. They both knew they could be in serious trouble.

***

As his pointed time drew closer Jeff arrived early and waited outside in the dark. Stomach churning feeling as if he awaited his time with the guillotine. He watched as Lisa emerged from the building. Their eyes met and skittered away. As he passed her on the stairs she slipped a note into his palm. Without stopping he pocketed the note too afraid to read it before his meeting. Opening the door he stood at attention until the Sargent announced "at ease."

Breathing deeply he tried to focus on the man's words. He had his response rehearsed but he didn't' get a chance to use it. "I'm sorry sir what did you say?"

Standing he came in front of his desk " I said congratulations. You have been assigned to Bridgeport to the missing persons division. This is a great honor them offering two young officers straight out of the academy with."

"Two sir?" he asked bewildered.

"Yes," the Sargent frowned "Cadet Kimble was assigned there too. Which leads me to the second reason for this meeting. Are you and Cadet Kimble involved?"

"Involved sir?" Jeff asked confused.

"Yes involved" he said impatiently "I witnessed what could only be described as an intimate moment between you and Cadet Kimble this afternoon."

"No sir we're not involved" Jeff replied.

"Pity she's good people," the Sargent frowned causing Jeff to look at him in consternation.

"Sir?" Jeff questioned "fraternization isn't allowed among cadets."

"Right you are," he smiled "however with you being assigned to different departments it opens up a world of possibilities. Don't worry son I'm not playing match maker," the Sargent told him "but I can tell there's something between you two. She's good people. I knew her dad well before he gave his life in the line of duty. I also know your Uncle. So consider this a gentle nudge in a direction I'm sure your already going. Just don't get there before you graduate."

"Yes sir," Jeff hesitated "Sir why did you recommend me for this position. I've always wanted forensics."

"I know but your talent of observation and perception would be wasted in forensics." Turning to his desk he shuffled through some files "If your interested I can tell you who your partner will be."

"Ok," Jeff said defeated.

"He's a young hot shot. Zayne Thompson. You'll learn a lot from him and you'll steady him. We like to pair altering personalities together to balance the teams." Standing he handed him a card "give him a call. Get to know him before you report for duty."

"Thank you sir," Jeff took the card and left. Walking out into the cool crisp air he sighed in relief. Standing under the light he remembered the note Lisa had slipped to him. Taking the crumpled piece of paper out he smiled.

***

 "Lisa at the track Jeff found it easy to keep stride with the girl. "So how did it go?" she asked after they had been running for several minutes.

"Better then I thought it would," he colored a little remembering how the Sargent had basically given his approved for him to date Lisa once they graduated.

"Did he tell you to cool it on the PDA?" she asked.

"No. Did he to you?

Nodding "I guess cadets can't touch without someone taking it out of context."

"Yeah I guess," he tried to keep his disappointment from his voice.

"Did he say anything else?" she asked eyeing him intently.

"Just that he recommended me for the missing persons division in the Bridgeport police department. 

He gave me my partners contact information." They spent the next hour running and discussing their future assignments.

***

Two years later Jeff was scowling at his computer trying to find a lead in the case he was working on. His partner Zayne tossed crumpled wads of paper at him. "Will you stop?" he demanded. Sometimes Zayne could really get under his skin. He was even worse since his humiliating defeat on the bachelorette show.

"If you'd answer my question I wouldn't need to resort to throwing things at you," Zayne told him.

"What do you want? You have my undevided attention," Jeff scowled at him.

Rolling his eyes Zayne repeated "has your sister come up with any leads yet?"

"I'd tell you if she had," Jeff sighed "Why are you always so impatient?"

"I hate cases like this," Zayne mumbled "a nut job kidnapping babies to lure their parents into traps. It makes me want to put Charlie in a bubble for safe keeping. It just makes me angry."

"When aren't you angry?" Jeff asked knowing that Zayne hadn't always been this way. His anger issues began when he lost his wife in a tragic boating accident. Jeff knew the story well. Their boat capsized. Cheri could swim enough to keep her head above water for short distances. Zanye had been forced to choose between his infant son or his wife. His son would surely drown without help but Cheri could hopefully stay afloat long enough for him to swim back to her. His decision made he swam to the dock. Leaving his son Zayne went back for his wife. It took divers three days to find her body. The subsequent suspicion and needing to prove he had not been responsible for the accident that took his wife's life left Zayne with a deep well of pain and anger that bubbled to the surface at the least provocation. There was also the loss, the pain and heart break he suffered. Jeff was there through it all and was willing to give him a break. Zayne was a good cop. A great father and a loyal friend.

"Should we go and see her?" Zayne asked breaking into Jeff's thoughts.

Smiling Jeff got up "might as well. I want to see how her meeting went with Lee."

Looking sideways at Jeff as they drove through the crowded streets of Bridgeport Zayne asked "do you think Amanda would contact Cheri again?"

Shaking his head Jeff sighed "no Zayne I don't think that's a good idea. You know Cheri told you to move on with your life. That's why you went on the Bachelorette show."

"Yeah and look how well that went," he grumbled.

"It would have gone better if you hadn't lied. You could have won serious sympathy points if she had known you were a widower with a two year old son."

Shrugging Zayne stared out the window "It wouldn't have worked anyway. The longer I was on the show the harder it was to keep all my feelings bottled up. I took my anger out on her and it wasn't even her I was angry with."

"I doubt a conversation with your dead wife is the answer..."

Zayne felt the familiar rage bubble to the surface but this time he held it in mumbling "you're probably right."

***

Moaning Lee opened his eyes, blinking he fought the darkness that threatened to overwhelm him. 

"Lee honey," her sweet voice was soothing "you need to listen to me."

Moaning he smiled as he looked into Melissa's beautiful face. "Am I dead?" he wondered aloud.

"No sweetheart," she touched his cheek softly.

"I'm so sorry," he sat up "if I had only listened none of this would have happened. The kids and you would still be alive."

Shaking her head "what happened wasn't your fault." He felt her lips brush his forehead "it's time you let us go. Live your life."

"I....I don't want to without you," he protested.

"You don't have a choice," she told him. Lifting his face to look into hers she said "Amanda needs you. She needs the love only you can give."

Stunned Lee stuttered "you wanted me to come here..."

Nodding "you have the same gift of sight as Amanda. It was dormant until the accident. I had to work extra hard to influence your desire to find her. She needs your help."

Jumping to his feet he stared around Amanda's silent apartment. "Where is she? Where did they take her?"

"Listen carefully Lee and when her brother arrives tell him exactly what I tell you. Understand?"

Nodding Lee listened to her feeling sick knowing the danger Amanda was in. "Someone else is there with hir?" he asked.

Nodding "yes Zayne's two year old son. The monsters are luring them into a trap using Amanda and the baby as bait. I can help you find Amanda and the boy. Get them to safety. You will need to go with them."

"Why?" he asked 

"I can only speak to you. I'm connected to you not them. Your sight is limited and weak. We don't have time to strengthen it and in time it should fade completely. If you go with them I can guide you around the traps. I will keep you safe."

Loud knocking on the door had Lee stumbling to door. Recognizing Amanda's brother Jeff he let them in. "Where's Amanda? Where's my sister?" Jeff asked grabbing Lee's arms demanding answers.

"I...I" he started "I'm sorry I tried to stop them but they hit me and when I came to she was gone."

"Who took her?" Jeff demanded.

"If you give me a chance I'll explain," Lee told him.

"Alright you have five minutes and you better convince me you had nothing to do with this," Jeff motioned towards the couch. Neither one was aware of Zayne as he answered his phone. Missed the shock that spread across his face. The tears as he realized he was about to lose his son, the most important person in his life. 

"No absolutely not," Jeff told Lee once he was done explaining what he knew and how he knew it. 

"Why is it so hard to believe that I might be able to help you?" Lee demanded desperate to convince Jeff that he was a valuable asset. "Do you think that only Amanda has this ability to contact spirits? You would believe her without question wouldn't you?"

"Yes but I still wouldn't let her come with me into a dangerous situation..."

"Jeff....Jeff" Zayne called to him the anger and fear in his voice palpable "let him come. We both know this is a trap. They have Charlie. I can't lose my son ... I just can't. We could use all the help we can get."

"I don't like it," Jeff muttered wishing there was an alternative but time was running out.

***

Uttering a wordless cry Jennifer whirled on Chase "why are you doing this me?" 

"I'm not doing anything to you other than making you see some of the damage you've done," he stood to face her. "I wish there was another way but you set these events in motion."

"I didn't know...I thought I was doing something good..." she said shaking her head feeling for the first time that maybe her actions weren't entirely justified. Turning from Chase's steady gaze to peer at Jeff's image recalling the explosion in the timeline that should have been and nodded her head "I prevented Jeff's death didn't I?"

"Did you?" Chase asked her "we haven't seen the final outcome yet. He doesn't exactly trust Lee. What if he doesn't listen and triggers a trap. His destiny may still be the same..."

"No" she screamed at him "I won't....I can't believe that." She hurled herself at him pounding her fists on his chest crying.

Pushing past his desire to comfort her Chase caught her pummeling hands and coldly told her "We have one more sibling to check on." He dropped her arms and adjusted the scene to focus upon Diana.

Hanging her head Jennifer refused to turn, to watch "I don't want to see it. I want to know what happened to Jeff and Amanda ....." dropping to her knees she cried "I don't want to see anymore."