Generation 2, Chapter 26

"Hey Gene what are you doing here?" Robert asked as he opened the door to find his brother on his doorstep. Must be his week to have unexpected visitors, he just hoped this would be a happier visit than the one he had with Casey.

Shrugging Gene mumbled "nothing much." Looking closer at him Robert could tell something was bothering him "how's things with Tracie?"

"Fine," Gene mumbled in response.

Mentally Robert shrugged it off, if Gene didn't want to talk about it he couldn't make him. "Would you like to come in and meet your new niece?"

Gene grinned at him as he passed thru the door. Going upstairs Gene looked into the crib at Diana who was happily waving her little fists in the air.

"Would you like to hold her?" Robert offered.

"No," Gene declined "all she’d do is scream. I don’t do babies."

"You’ll change your mind when you have your own," Robert told him.

 

Shaking his head "I doubt it, besides I don’t plan on having any."

Agast Robert realized his mouth was hanging open. Closing it he asked "have you discussd this with Tracie?"

Shrugging Gene asked "what does she have to do with it? It’s not like we’re married or anything?"

"Yeah but you’re living together, surely you’ve discussed the possibility ..." his voice trailed away at the look Gene threw at him.

"I’m moving," Gene said abruptly.

"Where?" Robert asked concerned.

"Starlight Shores," Gene told him. "I applied for and was accepted to appear on Sim Star Idol the reality show. It'll boost my career, even if I don't win I'll get much needed publicity."

Robert could hear the excitement in Gene's voice but he couldn't keep from voicing his concerns "I'm happy for you, Gene honestly I am but do you think this show is the wisest thing for you to do."

"How can you say that, of course it is," Gene shouted at him taking offense. Diana began to cry, startled from Gene's outburst. He watched Robert comfort her, all the while Gene's mind was whirling. He expected opposition from the family but not from Robert. It was all too much, Robert had always believed in him, Gene felt is confidence crumbling around him, maybe he really couldn't do this.

After calming Diana, Robert motioned for Gene to follow him. Downstairs once again, he turned to Gene "I know your upset with me and I'm sorry. I know this is your dream and I didn't mean to squash it. I...I just wish you had dreams that wouldn't lure you into temptation."

"I know what the temptations are and let's be honest the temptation is going to be there no matter where I'm at. I have to learn to cope with them. I won't always have you or Tracie looking over my shoulder and telling me what I should do. Honestly I don't want you to either."

Smiling at his brother, Robert understood what Gene was trying to tell him. It was time to let him go, let him fly and see what happens. "Gene I hope you win. I can't say I'm a hundred percent happy with your decision but I'll support you. You deserve to know if you can do this on your own. Who am I to say you can't?"

"Thanks Rob, I knew I could count on you," Gene said in relief. "I really wish I had everyone else's support."

"I'd imagine they're concerned with you falling off the wagon," Robert told him.

"They make it sound like it's a forgone conclusion that I will. Even dad thought the show was a bad idea."

"And Tracie, what did she think?" Robert asked although he could guess by the way Gene had been acting.

"She refused to even consider it. She just said no and forbade me to do it. She treated me like I was a child instead of an adult cabable of making my own decisions," Gene banged his fist on the wall. "I know I've made a lot of mistakes but how will I know what I can do until I put myself out there? I can't live in a bubble."

"Of course you can't," Robert agreed. "Gene listen to me a moment," he waited Gene to calm down before continuing. "Don't let anyone dictate to you what you can or cannot do. I receive a lot of rejection letters but I keep trying because one day I know I'll eventually find someone who will accept my book and publish it."

"You want to be a writer?" Gene asked with a smile.

"Yes I do," Robert admitted "everyone has a talent of some kind, even dad."

"Dad what can he do?" Gene asked baffled.

"He can cook, remember I work with him. He has people coming in offering him positions in their five star restuarants all the time. People from the cooking channel come in to offer him his own show all the time, that's how good he is."

"Then why doesn't he go for it?" Gene asked bewildered.

"Fear. Fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of being out of his element. I remember once he really wanted to do a show, a cooking competition between him and Gino Ferrari but mom put up such a fuss that he declined." Sighing Robert continued "What I'm trying to tell you is don't let anyone including yourself talk you out of reaching for your dreams."

"How is it that you know exactly what I need to hear?" Gene asked amazed at how well Robert knew him. "I was on the verge of backing out. Thinking that I couldn't do it. That I was crazy to even try if my entire family didn't think I could do." He smiled at Robert thankful for the confidence boost he received and needed. "I just wish Tracie would come with me."

"Give her time," Robert told him "she's scared. She's seen you at your worst and she doesn't want to see you like that again."

"Well between you and me Rob, you've taken more shit from me than anyone else but your the only one who keeps standing by me." Gene told him giving Robert an impulsive hug.

"What can I say," Robert shrugged "I believe in you. Now go, do the show and prove to everyone else that you can."

Leaving Robert's house, Gene felt better about his decision to do the reality show. He knew it was going to be stressful and difficult but he was up for the challenge. He just wished Tracie would come with him. He didn't plan on coming back to Barnacle Bay once the show was done. He was going to stay in Starlight Shores and pursue his dreams.

As he walked home, to the house he shared with Tracie, he kept thinking about their relationship. He didn't understand why he was finding it difficult to accept the idea of moving without Tracie, it's not like he loved her or anything. He liked her a lot but love was too big of a word to describe what they had. In his experience love was what you said to control another person. He'd seen his mom say it to his dad most of his life and if that was love he could live without it.

Walking into the house he found Tracie sitting at the counter with her back towards him. Why couldn't she accept his decision? Wasn't it time for him to stand on his own two feet? He didn't need or want a crutch to lean on all his life.

"Honey I'm home," he announced as he came in.

"Dinners in the fridge," she said without turning.

"I'm not hungry," Gene told her.

"Suit yourself," she shrugged getting up and going into the bedroom. Returning with an arm load of blankets and pillows that she dumped on the couch. Without saying anything she marched back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Staring at the door for a moment, Gene smirked as he said aloud to himself "looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight." Sitting on the couch eyeing the bedroom door, Gene felt his anger rising until he got up and knocked on the door. Silence greeted him, so he tried the knob, it moved in his palm, as he entered the dark room beyond he heard her yell at him "Get out."

"This is the only way in to the bathroom," he said without any intention of going through to the bathroom. "Fine" she said turning her back on him.

Hesitating a moment, Gene walked over to her side and touched her shoulder. "Tracie why won't you talk to me?"

"Go away," she entreated him, "we've said all we need to."

"Why don't you believe in me?" Gene asked her "please say you'll come with me."

"No," she said wiping tears from her eyes. "I won't help you destroy yourself."

"What makes you so positive I will?" Gene asked hurt at her refusal.

"You always do.  Then you wait for someone to come pick up the pieces." She laid there refusing to look at him, "I won't be there to pick of the pieces this time, I'm done."

"Fine I don't need someone who doesn't believe in me." Gene told her slamming the door behind him. Curling up on the floor beside the couch his thoughts loud in his head. Why couldn't she believe in him like Robert did? Why wouldn't she support him in this? It didn't really matter, he was doing this with or without her. He was going to prove to everyone that he could do this. 

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