Generation 2, Chapter 37

Robert paced the parking lot until Gene drove up to get him. Walking to the passenger side he got in and stared out the window ignoring Gene's attempt at conversation. Pulling into the hotel parking lot Gene sighed. Sitting in the parked car Gene finally asked "what happened?"

Shaking his head Robert remained silent "come on man tell me what happened," Gene said frustration clear in his voice. "You didn't wake me up just to ignore me. I know you didn't drink enough to get drunk unless you're that much of a light weight. Either talk to me or I'm going back to bed."

Giving Gene a sideways glance Robert got out of the car slamming the door shut behind him. He began to pace, working off his excess energy unable to process the events of the night. Grumbling Gene slowly got out of the car tired of watching his brother pace silently back and forth. "Something happened bro.  Why won't you talk to me?" It concerned him that Robert was so upset and obviously agitated over something.

Stopping in mid stride Robert ran a hand through his hair. "How would you feel if you oldest and best friend made a pass at you?"

Laughing Gene said "she already did and it nearly wrecked mine and Aimee's relationship."

"She doesn't count," Robert grumbled "it's not like you were still friends when she did that."

"No I guess not but..." Gene sucked in a breath of air "your joking right?" Looking closer at Robert Gene could see he wasn't. Johnny made a pass at you."

"He kissed me," Robert said explosively. "In the middle of the bar he kissed me."

"Did you like it?" Gene asked.

"Did I what?" Robert asked incredulously.

"Did you like it?" Gene repeated.

"Don't be ridiculous," Robert blurted "I wasn't expecting him to tell me he's been crushing on me since high school. How could I be so blind as to have missed that?"

"Were you really that oblivious?" Gene asked. "I half expected you to come back from college announcing you were gay. Don't tell me you never thought about it or him."

Robert's mouth dropped as he stared at his brother "no," he mumbled earning himself an incredulous look from Gene as he rolled his eyes. Sighing Robert amended his answer "ok maybe but that was then this is now."

"What's the difference?" Gene insisted. "He's available. You're available. Why not give it a chance?"

"I'm not gay," Robert muttered staring angrily at Gene.

"Bi then," Gene shrugged undaunted "what's the diff?"

Shaking his head Robert couldn't believe what he was hearing "no I can't believe this. Are you crazy? I have kids to think about." Robert started to mutter more to himself then to Gene.

"Rob you sound like your trying to convince yourself. Why don't you just stop thinking and go with it? If it doesn't work out at least you'd know." Gene chuckled at the astonished face Robert threw at him.

"You don't understand," Robert said "I pushed him away. Rejected him. I probably lost my oldest and best friend because I over reacted."

"Then call him and explain it to him" Gene suggested. "It's not the end of the world."

"You don't know Johnny like I do," Robert sighed "I messed everything up. I only ever wanted to be friends." He looked up sharply at Gene adding "don't say it. I know how I feel. It didn't feel right when he kissed me. If it had I wouldn't have reacted as I did. I had thought about it back in high school. I was confused. I'm not the same confused kid I used to be." Hanging his head "I wish I hadn't been drinking. I might have been able to salvage our friendship." Shrugging "I don't think it will ever be the same between us again. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid."

"Johnny do anything stupid," Gene said mystified "We are talking about the same guy right? The same Johnny who always needed a night light every time he slept over. He's too much of a scaredy cat to do anything stupid."

"I hope you're right," Robert said unconvinced as he recalled the terrified look in Johnny's eyes as he ran from the bar. "Thanks for dropping everything to come and get me."

"You owe me," Gene told him.

"I thought it was you who owed me," Robert retorted "after all the times I let you beat me up."

"That's different," Gene said with a smile "I never disturbed your mojo with a girl."

"Ah I see things have improved with Aimee," Robert chuckled.

"You could say that," Gene yawned "I don't think I'll be resuming where we left off. Aimee's probably asleep by now."

"Sorry man," Robert looked around "Can I get a ride back to my car in the morning?"

"Naw I think I'll let you walk," Gene said strolling to the hotel door.

"Where's the brotherly love?" Robert asked following behind.

"Oh it went out the window the minute you reminded me what I was missing out on," Gene smiled stopping outside his room. "So I'll come to your room about 10 then."

"Sounds good," Robert smiled walking down the hall to his room. Walking into the silent room he found it difficult to relax knowing the kids weren't there. Pulling his phone out he called Johnny. He didn't expect him to answer but he had to try. As expected he got his voice mail. "Hey man I know you probably don't want to talk to me but I'm sorry. I hope we can move past this and still be friends. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Call me when you get this." 

Lying down on one of the double beds Robert felt drained and too tired to sleep. He hoped his best friend was alright knowing he wouldn't call until he had his emotions in check. How could he have been so callous to Johnny's feeling? He felt lousy and an even worse friend. Robert slipped into a fitful sleep filled with nightmares. He woke a couple hours later to the sound of someone pounding on his door. "I'm coming I'm coming," he groaned as he crawled out of bed rubbing his eyes. "Gene?" Robert frowned "What?"

"You wanted a ride to your car, remember?" Gene chuckled "I said I'd get you at 10." Inspecting his brother Gene asked "are you ok? you look terrible."

"Thanks," Robert grumbled "I slept like shit and my head's killing me."

"That's the price you pay when you drink."

"I didn't drink that much," Robert protested.

"Lightweight," Gene snickered "your kind shouldn't drink at all."

"Like you can?" Robert retorted not in the mood to be harassed.

Putting his hands up Gene lost his smile "whatever dude. If you want to be crab ass all the power to you. But if you want a ride get your ass in gear. Aimee and I need to book it back to Starlight Shores and we still have to get Michael from Dads."

Running his hands through his hair Robert moaned following Gene out the door. This was starting out to be a hell of a day. After Gene dropped him off at his car he noticed an envelope tucked underneath the wiper blade. Prying it out Robert waved to Gene as he left. Sitting in the car he held the envelope wanting badly to open it and yet dreading what it might say.

Sighing he ripped the envelope open, the note read: 

Hey man sorry about last night. I didn't mean to force myself on you. I thought maybe you'd feel the same way about me as I did about you. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm going away on a work assignment. I need time to clear my head. Best of luck. I hope you find someone who loves you as I do. You deserve that. Patricia doesn't know what she gave up. You're one hell of guy. Love Johnny

Wiping tears from his eyes Robert folded the note into his pocket. He hoped wherever Johnny was going that he'd find happiness and someone who would love him the way he couldn't. Shaking his head Robert pulled out of the parking lot. Knocking on Gene's hotel room door he lost his smile when Gene growled "What took you so long? I told you we had to book it back to Starlight Shores."

"I know I'm sorry. I have to get back to Hidden Springs myself. I've got nanny's to interview tomorrow." Robert said turning towards the kids "are you ready?"

"We don't need a nanny," Jennifer frowned at him.

"Yeah we can take care of ourselves," Diana sided with her sister.

"I'm sure you can but what about Mandy and Alex?" Robert asked.

"We can take care of them," Jennifer insisted.

"I'm sure you would do your best but a grown-up would be able to do things you can't." Robert explained trying not to hurt her feelings "besides a nanny will allow you to be able to play and have fun instead of having to always take care of someone."

"But we want to," Jennifer insisted.

"Thank you honey," Robert knelt in front of her "but I don't want you to have to. I want you to enjoy being a kid without having to be a mother to your little brother and sisters."

Crossing her arms Jennifer was about to dig in and refuse. She didn't want anyone else taking over her family. It was her who had saved her dad. Made sure he got help. Everyone told her how brave she was. She was needed. She felt safe. What if she wouldn't be needed anymore?

Robert smiled at his little girl as her thoughts flitted across her face. "Don't worry honey I still need you." He held her arms out to her. Jennifer smiled and ran into his outstretched arms "I love you daddy."