"William we need to talk about this," Jessica said behind him.
"Can't you just leave me alone," William said echoing his sons words. "I can't stand the sight of you, led alone talk to you right now."
"William please, I need you," she cried grabbing his arm before he could walk away.
"You need me? That's laugh," he whirled around facing her. The anger emanating from him causing her to step back releasing her grip. "How long Jessica? How long have you been seeing other men?"
Crossing her arms in front of her, she lifted her eyes towards him, glistening with unshed tears. William looked at her without the least bit of sympathy. Breathing heavily through his nose he sat abruptly on the couch, all strength draining from his legs. Her silence was deafening in a sea of emotion. Clearing his throat he asked "Are you going to answer me? or has it been so long you can't remember?"
Moving stiffly to a chair beside him, she sat staring mutely a head of her.
"At least tell me this, is he mine?"
"Is who yours?" pretending ignorance.
"Am I Paul's father?" William asked again pronouncing each word distinctly. Inwardly he didn't care, he loved Paul as much as he loved all the others. But Paul didn't resemble anyone in the family with his black hair and deep blue eyes.
"Of course he is, don't be silly."
Laughing harshly William swore under his breath, looking at her he demanded "Don't lie to me! I'm not blind nor am I stupid. He doesn't look like anyone in the family."
"Neither does Casey. You never doubted he was yours. Why this one? Why Paul?"
"Casey looks just like me with blond hair. Besides I never had a reason to doubt the paternity of my children before."
"And you still don't," she said crossing her arms.
William recognized her sullen expression but refused to be patronized. "Who are you trying to kid? Gene exposed your dirty little secret."
"So you are taking his word over mine," Jessica shouted unable to restrain herself. "He's nothing but a druggie and a drunk. He probably just hallucinated seeing me. I told you he can't be trusted. Look what he's doing to us. He's driving a wedge between us, using your feelings for him to tear us apart." Watching William staring into space, seeming to not notice what she was saying she continued "William open your eyes and see him for the evil little shit he is and kick him out before he tears this family apart."
Dragging his eyes towards her, he noticed the lines the years had etched into her face. He remembered a time when looking into her eyes would melt his insides, now all he felt was nothing, just a cold, hard lump in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't deny she made a certain amount of sense and it might even be logical. Except for the fact that Gene had no idea he was in the room when he let his little bomb off. The shock on his face when he realized he heard him, lent a certain amount of credibility to his accusation.
"What do I have to do to convince you?" Jessica asked throwing her hands in the air.
"How about telling me the truth for a change? Stop lying and deflecting everything back on Gene. He needs help I know that but it doesn't help blaming him for our problems. He's already lost his mother, I'll be damned if he loses his father too."
"What about your other children? Don't they matter? What about your unborn child?" She stood their rubbing her stomach in a way that William recognized over the years. Why hadn't he noticed it before? She was pregnant again and he couldn't help the shudder that went through him as he wondered if this one was his. "What the hell Jessica. You were supposed to be on the pill."
"I lied," she shrugged. "What's the difference, a new baby fixed our marriage once before. It'll do it again."
"Babies don't fix marriages. What's wrong with you?" he asked incredulously.
"What's wrong with me?" she asked eyes round in disbelief. "You were so happy when I told you about Michael but you hardly cracked a smile when I told you about Paul and now this one. You almost sound angry."
"Angry doesn't even begin to describe how I feel."
"Well if you have a such a problem with having more kids then maybe you should do something about it."
"Don't you think I've tried?" he shouted at her. "I've had three failed vasectomies . Something with the alien modifications prevent them from taking."
"So we're back to the aliens. I'm so sick of hearing about the aliens."
"So am I. But right now with how I feel, I'd go outside and flag down an alien ship and beg them to take me the hell away from you." Getting up, William stomped out the door.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
At a loss as to how to reassure his siblings, Robert decided to distract them by planning a party for Casey's eighteenth birthday. As the day of the party approached, their Dad had become less sullen and withdrawn. Where their mother kept to herself, locked in her room. They were pretty sure she was alive as she always took the food Evelyn left for her.
"If it weren't for you, they wouldn't be fighting," Casey accused Gene the day of the party.
"They'd be fighting regardless," Gene said refusing to apologize for the things he had said.
"No they wouldn't," Casey insisted "They began fighting when you had your mental breakdown and it's only gotten worse the more you antagonize mom."
"It's not my fault," Gene insisted walking away. Slamming his bedroom door shut. Gene sat on his bed with his head buried in his hands. He couldn't stop the shaking, he needed a drink or he'd go insane.
He went to where he hid his stash and found nothing but empty bottles. Throwing one in a fit of rage, he vaguely heard it shatter on the far wall.
A moment later Robert came running into the room breathlessly asking "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Gene grumbled balling his hands into fists, wanting to hit something.
Eyeing his brother, Robert cautiously closed the door. "You're not fine."
"Just leave me alone," Gene screamed at him. "You're just like the rest of them. Blaming me for everything." Gene paced the floor like a cage lion.
Slowly Robert approached him, hands up and open, afraid Gene might think he would trap him. "Tell me about it. Let me help you."
"You want to help me?" Gene asked pausing to consider it. "Then get me a bottle, I need a drink."
"You don't need a drink."
"How do you know what I need?" Gene yelled enraged. "You abandoned me when I needed you the most."
"What are ...." Robert began but was interrupted by the punch Gene directed at his face. Momentarily stunned, Robert fell back, blood dripping from his nose.
Before he realized what was happening, Gene charged, arms and hands flailing as they blindly struck anything they could reach. Slowly Gene's rage subsided and he lay their sobbing. Robert held him as his body shook.
Robert held his brother as he sobbed into his shoulder. His body ached where Gene had used it as a punching bag. His side hurt like he had some broken ribs but nothing too serious. Through the wracking sobs he heard Gene mutter one word "Why?"
"Why what?" Robert asked confused.
Sniffling Gene gulped for air. "Why does she hate me?"
"You mean mom?" Robert asked. Gene nodded trying to stifle his sobs.
"I don't know. She doesn't exactly like me either." He received a short snort from Gene. "I do know that all this drinking isn't good for you. After all you just beat up your favorite brother over a drink." Robert said making light of the situation.
Sitting up, Gene scrutinized Robert's face, noting the puffy eye that he was sure would turn black and the drying blood from his nose and busted lip. "Did I do all that?" he wondered aloud. Nodding his head, Robert winced in pain. "I'm sorry. I guess I was out of my head."
"I guess you were," Robert agreed. "Gene you know Dad and I love you, right?"
"Yeah," he said warily.
"Then you know we want what's best for you right?"
"I guess," Gene eyed him growing suspicious. "What are you driving at?"
"Don't you think it's time you got some help? What if it had been one of the girls or Michael who walked in instead of me? Do you really want to prove mom right?"
"Oh god! I'm such a mess." Gene said crumpling to the floor, head on
his knees. He looked up at Robert with contrite eyes sighing "I really am sorry."
"I know," Robert said quietly sitting down beside him.
"I didn't hurt you did I?" Gene asked eyeing Robert in concern noting how stiffly he moved when he sat down.
"I think I might have some busted ribs, other than that I'm fine," he shrugged.
"You should see a doctor," Gene said flatly.
"Ow! don't make me laugh," Robert said holding his side. "First you beat me up then you want to get me checked out by a doctor."
"Well you should," Gene said becoming irritated as Robert continued to laugh at him "and it's not funny."
"It is, you just don't know it," wincing as his sides ached as he continued to laugh.
Looking thoughtfully at this older brother, he wondered why Robert didn't look at him like he was a dangerous criminal. Most of the time he felt like no one in the family wanted him around, except his Dad and brother. "Why are you and Dad so different from everyone else?"
"Cuz we're special," he said. "Seriously though we know you're better than this and one day you're going to see it too."
Deep in thought, considering what Robert just told him, was he really better than this? Why did they have so much faith in him, when he had none in himself? When had he stopped believing in himself He felt Robert nudge him in the side asking "You ok?"
"Yeah, just thinking."
They heard the front door open and several people laughing and talking at once. Turning to his brother, Robert said "Sounds like the party's starting." Holding out his hand "here help me up."
Gene took his out stretched hand "I should take you to the hospital."
"After the party," Robert insisted "then you can take me." At the look of concern Gene gave him, Rob smiled. "Don't worry I'm ok. I don't want Casey getting upset with you, at least not on his birthday"
"Who are you trying to kid? All he has to do is look at your face to know what I did."
"Do I look that bad?" Robert wondered looking at himself in the mirror. "Well that doesn't make me look very tough does it?" he said turning to Gene.
Shaking his head Gene agreed "more like a hurt deer. Think I'll call you Bambi."
"Don't you dare" Robert said laughing putting his arm around Gene's shoulders. They walked out of the room together.
Authors note: I realized the chapter was getting too long and decided to split the 2nd part. So yes there is a 3rd part. Sorry I really wanted all of this in one chapter however I thought it best to split it up so that it wasn't one massively long chapter. Hopefully the next part will be out later this week.
Authors Note: I am providing language warning on this chapter. I don't normally use this language but I honestly couldn't imagine this emotionally charged situation without it. I apologize if it offends anyone and if it does please don't read.
As school drew to a close Patricia dreaded going home for the summer. She couldn't remember the last time her parents spoke to each other, it was like living with two ghosts, haunting the same house unable to move on. Her little brother was the one that suffered the most and he was the reason she was making herself go back to that house of torment. She had not planned on going to college, she had wanted to stick close to home to provide her brother a place to go when being home was unbearable. Her mother made it impossible for her to stay.
Patricia came home one evening towards the end of summer to find her things packed and loaded onto a moving van. Her mother standing outside, her arms crossed waiting for her.
"What the hell's going on?" Patricia demanded.
"You're going to college."
"No I'm not, we discussed this," she said glaring at her mother already feeling trapped.
Her mother flattened her lips into a thin line "I decided that you were. I'm not letting my daughter throw her life away at a dead end job."
"It's my decision. It's my life. You can't make me, I'm eighteen years old."
"That's where you're wrong. When we adopted you and your brother we signed an agreement that you would both receive a college education. If you don't honor the contract, your brother will be sent back to the orphanage. You wouldn't want that, now would you?"
Patricia stared at her mother appalled that she would even consider doing that to her brother. She found herself hoping her mother would dissolve before her eyes, but she didn't, she continued to stand there bold as brass.
Remembering the orphanage was enough to set her on edge, the cold sleepless nights lying on the uneven stone floors, huddling together for warmth. Never having enough to eat and what little they were given, she gave most to her brother. The worst was the fear that they would never see their parents again. Shaking her head to relieve it of the memories her voice quivered as she spoke "You said that was just a formality, that it was my decision."
Shrugging her shoulders her mother said "I changed my mind."
"But you can't do this to me," Patricia cried overwhelmed with the injustice of it all.
"I can do anything I want. Don't push me little girl. I'll make the call myself and report a breach of contract to get you to do what I want."
"What about Sammy," she asked in desperation "You wouldn't really let them take him back to that hell hole."
"Oh wouldn't I?" her mother said with a wicked gleam in her eyes "It would do him a world of good. Toughen him up so he wouldn't turn into his nothing of a father."
Mouth dropping in disbelief, Patricia had no choice but to comply with her mother's demands. She wouldn't let her brother go back there, not if she had the means to prevent it. She had no illusions that her mother wouldn't live up to her threats.
"I didn't know you were adopted," Robert said holding her as she spoke.
"I'm not, not really. My parents are my biological parents." Rolling over on the floor, staring into the distance she continued "we were on a trip to another country and a bunch of heavily armed men busted into our hotel room. Forcefully taking me and my brother."
She smiled sadly remembering how her father had pleaded with the men to take him instead, blocking the door as the men attempted to leave. The men just knocked him to the floor where he lay in an unconscious heap. The last glimpse she had of her mother was of her silently crying. "In order to get us back my parents had to adopt us, a ploy to extort money from them. They wouldn't let us go until their money was paid and the papers signed." Her breath caught in her throat as she said "Which makes what my mother did just that much worse." Eyes glistening with unshed tears she looked at Robert "How could she even threaten to do that? To send my brother, her son back to that place. He'd never survive and we'd never get him back. Not after my dad lost his business and mom lost her job for unethical business dealings."
Putting his arms around her, he gently kissed her cheek. "It'll be alright. I'm just a phone call away." Robert told her trying to reassure her "besides I really should thank her."
"Thank her, whatever for?" Patty asked closing her eyes relaxing in his arms.
"Because if she hadn't been such a bitch we would never have met again," he said nuzzling her neck "and for that I'm thankful."
Turning to face him Patricia leaned in and kissed his lips briefly, "Rob you always seem to find the bright side of things. I wish you were coming with me."
"I wish I could too but I have my own dysfunctional family to see."
"At least your parents love each other and their kids."
Sighing Robert mumbled "I used to think that too but now I wonder."
"What was that?" Patricia asked turning to him with questioning eyes.
"Nothing. Everything will be alright," he smiled as much to reassure her as himself.
She looked at him knowing he was evading her question. Stepping closer she asked "Want to talk about it?"
Drawing her close, he kissed her forehead "It's a discussion for another time. Right now I just want to be with you until your taxi arrives."
Robert and Evelyn arrived late just in time to see the incongruous arrival of a police car, lights flashing screeching to a halt in front of their house.
They watched as an officer helped Gene out of the backseat and escort him to the door. From where they stood they could tell Gene was a few sheets to the wind.
"So much for a quiet home coming." Robert said to Evelyn.
"Yeah the fireworks should start exploding any second now."
They lingered outside until the officer left and drove away before entering the house. The scene as they walked through the door was as they expected. Jessica was in mid stream, berating Gene as he struggled to stand.
"Jessica calm down," William interceded before she really wound up "your just wasting your time. He's not comprehending a damn thing your saying."
"Stop coddling him," she shouted "he's got to learn his actions are unacceptable."
"I'm not saying he doesn't. But it's not going to do a bit of good to yell at him while he's too drunk to know what you're saying. All he's going to do is throw up all over you."
As if to illustrate his point, the floodgates opened up and Gene was retching on the floor. Jessica jumped back in disgust, walking away saying "I'm not cleaning that up."
"Of course not dear, why would you bother to lift a finger to help your son," William grumbled going over to Gene pulling him to his feet and half carried half dragged him to his room. "You've got a lot of explaining to do just as soon as your sober enough to talk."
"Thanks Dad," Gene breathed heavily into William's face.
"Oh god, don't breath on me. You reek." William said trying to breath through his mouth so as not to inhale the foul stench coming from his son.
Throwing him on his bed, William removed his shoes and left him crumpled on top of his blankets.
Coming out into the living room William was surprised to see Evelyn an Robert quietly cleaning up the mess their brother made.
"Thanks you two," he said overwhelmed with gratitude for their thoughtfulness. "You didn't have to do that."
Shrugging Robert said "You had your hands full."
"And mom's her ever loving self," Evelyn chimed in.
Smiling ruefully William said sadly "That she is unfortunately. It's good to see you guys," he said approaching them, giving each a hug. "I've missed you both so much."
Sitting on the couch, Evelyn and Robert joined him.
"Gene's gotten worse, hasn't he?" Robert inquired.
"Yeah this," William waved his hands to indicate the events of the night "is becoming a weekly event." Sighing loudly he continued "I can't seem to get through to him and the more Jessica screams at him the more recalcitrant he becomes." Leaning forward he buried his head in his hands.
Silently they watched their father, each lost in their own thoughts. Robert wondered how his father had the strength to see him through each crisis and he worried he had reached his limit. "Dad would you like me talk to Gene? Maybe he'll open up to me."
Looking up William nodded "It couldn't hurt." Leaning back he said more to himself then to anyone. "God knows he's going to need someone to talk to after Jessica lays into him. She can't seem to keep her mouth shut long enough for him to express himself." Looking at them he apologized "Forgive me I shouldn't have said that about your mother." Rubbing his hands through his hair he said "It's just so infuriating how she so completely shoots him down and doesn't even pretend to like him."
"Is she harping at you to send him away?" Evelyn asked.
"Always," he sighed thinking how she tolerates the presence of Evelyn and Robert, knowing they will be gone again soon. He knew they weren't oblivious to their mother's feelings towards them.
"Don't worry Dad, we'll still come and visit," Robert said picking up on his thoughts. "We know we'll never be welcome here by her, but that's ok. It's her choice."
"It's not ok, not by a long shot," William exploded "you should feel welcome in your own home and loved by both your parents."
"It is what it is," Robert shrugged "the only person who can do anything about it is locked up in her bedroom."
"Don't worry Dad, we don't hold her actions against you," Evelyn said looking at her brother before continuing "We're just concerned about you. You know you'll have our support regardless of what you decide."
"I appreciate that, I really do." he got up and gave them each a hug. "It's not a decision to be taken lightly. Once upon a time your mother and I loved each other." Looking at his children, he tried to suppress a yawn saying "I'd love to stay up and talk but it's getting late and unfortunately you're standing in my bedroom."
"Dad you're not sleeping on the couch," Robert protested. "You can have my bed."
Shaking his head "Son you've driven a long ways and you're tired. Don't worry about me. It's not like it's the first time I've slept on this old couch."
"Well I have a problem with it," Evelyn said. "Besides I don't sleep, well not much. Take my bed."
Giving in William was about to kiss her goodnight when the silence was shattered by the screams of an unhappy infant. "That would be your baby brother Paul demanding attention." He turned to attend to his infant son's needs when Evelyn gently grabbed his arm, stalling him.
"Dad you're tired, let me see to Paul and you get a good nights rest." Smiling his thanks, he slowly walked to her room and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
The next morning they were awakened by raised angry voices coming from Gene's room.
"Can't you just leave me alone," Gene shouted heedless of how the sound increased the pounding in his ears. God he felt awful and he smelled even worse. The last thing he wanted was to have this bitch up in his face.
"You're going to listen to me you little shit," Jessica shouted back waving her finger in his face. "As long as your in my house you'll do as I say."
"If you had it your way I wouldn't live here at all," Gene retorted wishing she would stop waving that damn finger in his face. He had half a mind to bite it off, at least then she'd have something to scream about.
"That's right sunny, you'd be out on the street quicker than you could blink. You're not safe to have around civilized people."
"Civilized? Is that what you call yourself? It's not a wonder I drink, it's the only way to get you out of my head. Do you even hear yourself? All you ever do is tell me what a fucked up mess I am and a what a fucking disappointment I am. What kind of mother are you?"
"Not the kind to put up with your shit! How dare you blame me for your problems. I'm not the one with the problem. I'm not the one who put their father in the hospital. I'm not the one getting picked up by the police for being a public nuisance or doing drugs or drinking."
"No you're the wife who sneaks around cheating on her husband," Gene accused. "I see you out late at night, while Dad is home alone taking care of the kids, hanging on some stranger. I'm not stupid and I'm not blind. Hell I wish were, then I wouldn't have the image burned in my mind of you kissing on every Tom, Dick and Harry. You're nothing but fucking whore!"
Hate glinting in her eyes, Jessica stepped forward slapping her son across the face. The force of the blow snapping his head to the side with such force it brought tears to his eyes. Gene gently brought a hand up to his cheek where it stung from the blow. He stared Jessica down, silently daring her to do it again.
Movement by the door caught his eye, as he looked up he saw his father standing behind Jessica with an angry stunned expression. At that moment he regretted the angry hurtful words he said as he realized the person he hurt most was the one he loved most. "Dad ... I'm sorry," he began than fell silent.
William looked at his son before turning to Jessica "Is what he says true?" his voice harsh and raw with emotion.
Swallowing convulsively Jessica turned to face her husband of 22 years saying "It's not what he makes it out to be," she put her hands out as if to touch him, then let her hands drop. "Are you going to take the word of a drug addict over me, your wife?"
Crossing his arms, William frowned "He's my son not just some drug addict," as she once again reached out and tried to touch his arm he stepped back repulsed by her touch. He noticed her eyes narrow as she must have realized that yes, he would take his word over hers.
"William please just hear me out," she pleaded.
"Why should I?" he asked as he started to walk away. "You never listened to me, so why should I listen to you?" He continued to walk away knowing she would follow, never giving him space to think things through.
Not once in their 22 years of marriage had Jessica ever considered anyone else's opinion as being better than hers. She always did what she thought was right, never listening to what anyone was trying to tell her, just jumping to conclusions. How many times had he had to listen to her apologize and listen to her excuse that she was only doing what she thought was best. He was tired of her excuses, couldn't she accept that he and the kids didn't need to be fixed but loved and accepted regardless of their failings. Couldn't she see that she had so alienated Gene that he had turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain of her rejection? Evelyn and Robert weren't welcome in their own home. What about the other children, how were they being affected? What the hell was he doing clinging to a marriage that no longer worked?
